Ost Botha's Plastic Surgery Sea Cruises!
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Here is a full and complete list of all the procedural operations we are equipped to perform while cruising the high seas at top speed!
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Full Blown Awse Reconstruction​.
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$800 O.N.O
​​**DUE TO THE GRAPHIC NATURE OF THIS PROCEDURE I HAVE REPLACED MY USUAL PHOTOGRAPH OF THE REMNANTS OF A BLOOD-SPATTERED HALF-BUTCHERED AWSEHOLE WITH A PHOTOGRAPH INSTEAD DEPICTING A RECTALLY-SYMBOLIC FLOWER**
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This procedure involves me injecting​ 4 litres of live jellyfish scrotums directly into your awsehole region.
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Oh stop crying, you should see your face!
The Full-Facial Ethnic Cleansing.​
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$149,995
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While we're parked up in this tranquil bay I use whatever's handy to sculpt your ugly great leering cross-eyed face into an angelic seraphimic plasticene masterpiece.
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A slice here, a dice there, a nip, a tuck and before we get back to sunny downtown Jo-Burg you'll be saying "what the FUCK have you done to my face??"
No need to thank me as long as the cheque's cleared!
The Prominent Mandible Realignment.​
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$4,995.
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While the beautiful party-goers frolic about on the deck with nary a care in the world, you, me and a common kitchen frying pan are down under the hull earnestly concentrating on bashing your ugly disfigured jawline straight.
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Through experience I have found that this operation is best performed at top boat speed as the flurry of motion and general air of confusion helps the time pass more quickly for the patient.