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Call us now to book a face-changing vacation of a lifetime:


By the time you get back to sunny Jo-Burg you'll look like a different person!

About Us


My name is Ost Botha.

I am a plastic surgeon based in sunny downtown Jo-Burg.

That's me in the photograph on the right over there. That fine dozey fellow next to me? I shot him directly in the awse at the crack of dawn yesterday morning. On the sunny high veldt. He's dead now.

Anyway, we here at Ost Botha's Plastic Surgery Sea Cruises specialize in combining luxurious sea cruises with the wholesale rearrangement of your face.

Not only that.

I can also fix up your boney awse too.


Your awse, your face, frankly I can't tell the difference these days! That's how badly you need to sign up for Ost Botha's Plastic Surgery Sea Cruises!

Haha, apologies there, I do like to make small jokes to ease the tension just before I get down to work injecting 4 kilograms of dolphin dick gristle into your poxy anorexic awse region as the launch speeds along at 60 knots.

Even worse, I could make a cheap joke about shooting you in the awse with the same gun I used to execute the fine dozey fellow on the right but that would be a bit off.


I'll be needing a much bigger gun for your awse hahaha



How would you like the recently-severed hoof of this fine fellow implanted directly into your awse region as we speed jauntily

around the Cape of Good Cock?

Of course you would!


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