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Call us now to book a face-changing vacation of a lifetime:

1800-OST BOTHA

By the time you get back to sunny Jo-Burg you'll look like a different person!​

About Us

​​Hello!

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My name is Ost Botha.

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I am a plastic surgeon based in sunny downtown Jo-Burg.

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That's me in the photograph on the right over there. That fine dozey fellow next to me? I shot him directly in the awse at the crack of dawn yesterday morning. On the sunny high veldt. He's dead now.

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Anyway, we here at Ost Botha's Plastic Surgery Sea Cruises specialize in combining luxurious sea cruises with the wholesale rearrangement of your face.

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Not only that.

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I can also fix up your boney awse too.

 

Your awse, your face, frankly I can't tell the difference these days! That's how badly you need to sign up for Ost Botha's Plastic Surgery Sea Cruises!

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Haha, apologies there, I do like to make small jokes to ease the tension just before I get down to work injecting 4 kilograms of dolphin dick gristle into your poxy anorexic awse region as the launch speeds along at 60 knots.

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Even worse, I could make a cheap joke about shooting you in the awse with the same gun I used to execute the fine dozey fellow on the right but that would be a bit off.

 

I'll be needing a much bigger gun for your awse hahaha

 

DIAL1800-OST BOTHA NOW!

How would you like the recently-severed hoof of this fine fellow implanted directly into ​your awse region as we speed jauntily ​

around the Cape of Good Cock?

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Of course you would!

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​DIAL1800-OST BOTHA NOW!

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